“I don’t want to talk about it”
June 3, 2021
Who has ever heard the words “I don’t want to talk about it” come out of a man’s mouth? I have! To be fair, I have heard women say this too, but talking through emotions can be more challenging for men on average.
Mental illness impacts both men and women, but men are less likely to seek out treatment than women. They are also more likely to die by suicide than women. Accessing our emotions and understanding our thoughts, words, and actions is exhausting. Sometimes it is easier to avoid, deflect, or suffer in silence.
The Differences in Men and Women
Depressive symptoms tend to look different in men versus women. Men may act more angry or aggressive than sad, or they may turn to an addiction to feel better. They may lose interest in their hobbies, work, friends, and family. They may also have trouble sleeping. Or, they may experience physical symptoms such as digestive issues or headaches. Men tend to show their depression outwardly. This can manifest in ways such as anger or addiction. On the other hand, women’s depression is an inward expression such as negative self-talk.
Common Depressive Symptoms in Men
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, common depression symptoms in men are:
- Anger, irritability, or aggressiveness
- Feeling anxious, restless, or “on the edge”
- Loss of interest in work, family, or once-pleasurable activities
- Problems with sexual desire and performance
- Feeling sad, “empty,” flat, or hopeless
Not being able to concentrate or remember details- Feeling very tired, not being able to sleep, or sleeping too much
- Overeating or not wanting to eat at all
- Thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts
- Physical aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems
- Inability to meet the responsibilities of work, caring for family, or other important activities
- Engaging in high-risk activities
- A need for alcohol or drugs
- Withdrawing from family and friends or becoming isolated
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, please reach out for help. Talk to your doctor or schedule an appointment with a therapist. You do not need to suffer alone.
What Can I Do From Home?
What can you do in the meantime?
- Spend time with loved ones. Take the time to talk with your friends and family.
- Eat healthy meals and snacks. End alcohol.
- Maintain a consistent sleep schedule. Go to bed at the same time each night. If you are having trouble sleeping, eliminate naps during the day and limit screen use prior to going to bed.
- Engage in an exercise routine to remain active. Endorphins really can improve your mood.
- Break up your day into smaller pieces. It can feel overwhelming to think through all the things you need to do in the day. If you can say “all I need to do is get dressed right now”, that feels less overwhelming. Divide up each task and tackle one thing at a time.
- Read I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secrecy of Male Depression for an inside look at depression and how it manifests itself in men. It provides great information and can help show that you are not alone.
- Purchase the new course from Foundations Family Therapy called “From Surviving to Thriving” which is an online course with practical tips and teaching.
We are here to help! Reach out to Foundations Family Therapy and schedule an appointment with one of our trained therapists today.