Posts Tagged ‘Counseling’
Parenting in the Midst of Working from Home
April 24, 2020
Due to the recent COVID19 outbreak, many parents are finding themselves working from home. While some parents are used to working from home, many are making the transition and settling into any given comfortable space in their home.
Whether working from home was the norm or a new transition, many parents are also now finding themselves taking on the role of teacher, cook, playmate, lesson planner, and everything else in between for their child(ren) in addition to having to work their job and keep up with daily work demands.
While we as parents may understand that this is the “new normal” and how things have to be for now, it can still be difficult to carry on all the responsibilities that we are used to all at the same time and all in the same location with every member being home all at the same time.
This transition may be difficult, but we can help!
We used to have the luxury of taking a break and going to our favorite coffee shop to get a hot latte that warmed the soul or going to our favorite restaurant and enjoying our favorite meal in the midst of mindful eating. Now? Not so much.
The breaks at the house may not seem as pleasant or appetizing as they once did. Your patience may be wearing thin and you may be singing “Jesus Take the Wheel” more than you ever have before.
Feeling overwhelmed right now IS NORMAL AND VERY MUCH OKAY. You are human. You have needs and you also need breaks. Self-care is important. YOU are important. I can assure you that you are not alone in feeling this way.
Strategies for Coping
So how can one have some semblance of sanity in the midst of this chaos? Here are a few suggestions that might be helpful:
Establish a routine
Not only for your child(ren) but also for yourself. While the routine may not look like it did before, there is some sense of normalcy in having a routine (with time).
Keep taking breaks during the day as you once did
Sure, you may not be able to hit up your favorite spot but you can substitute that time with another activity. Maybe you take a short drive somewhere or take a walk around the neighborhood/house or even take an actual lunch break in a different part of the house. Or maybe you take a few minutes for meditation and deep breathing.
When you can, ask for help
Whether that’s from your partner, nanny/sitter, daycare, or whoever! If you’re partnered, tag team it up. Split up tasks. Ask for what you need and be specific in what you need.
Check in with yourself often
If you need to, reach out to someone you trust and just vent. Whether it’s a family member, your partner, friend, neighbor, therapist, church member, whoever. Let it out.
Make time for a break
My favorite way to do this is setting a slightly earlier bedtime for your kid a couple of times a week. That way, they’re in bed and you’re hopefully taking a hot shower and catching up on your favorite show or just sitting there in silence.
Stay connected
Join your family, friends, co-workers, etc. through a digital coffee date, a Zoom meeting, or Google hangouts. Adulting with other adults is important!
Practice giving yourself grace
Parenting isn’t a competition and we are all in this “new normal” together. How easy is it to understand and validate another’s situation but then get down on ourselves?
Remember, we are human and aren’t perfect, and this includes in the parenting arena. Sometimes Fruit Loops and screen time are exactly what’s needed. Go with it.
Leticia Frazier, Licensed Clinical Social Worker
How To Help to Your Teen With Life’s Transitions
August 15, 2019
Adolescence is a beautiful yet challenging time of change.
As a result, if you think about all of the social and academic pressures topped with hormonal shifts, it’s no wonder why it can be difficult for teens to adjust!
The good news is that if they seem emotionally unstable, irritable or moody, it’s likely this is all part of normal behavior.
School and Change
As we enter this transitional time of the year with new beginnings at school, it’s important to have a care plan in place to help things go smoothly. Careful organization and planning can help eliminate uncertainty and let your teen know she has a support system in place.
Start by establishing communication. It’s essential to keep communication channels open in order to build a positive relationship with your teen. Even if you don’t always agree, you want them to know that you are interested and that you care.
Another important part of healthy communication is teaching them about mindfulness. It’s easy to get lost in all of the fears, anxieties and “what ifs” that surround the teenage years. Help them learn ways to stay focused and stay present.
Teen Depression and Anxiety are on the rise.
Most importantly, in the rise of teenage depression and anxiety, it’s important to talk about personal safety. Have an open and mature conversation about all of the new issues and challenges your teen might face. Be sure to include topics like sex, drugs, and alcohol use. Talk about all of the new freedoms, responsibilities, and expectations associated with the teenage years and make sure they feel safe.
All parents want to give their teens the tools they need to not only survive but thrive. Family therapy can help with complicated issues and conversations. This is why our team of compassionate therapists- many parents themselves- are here to help your family grow together through adolescence and beyond.
How To Maintain Your Identity When “I” Becomes “We”
July 24, 2019
If you’re in a monogamous relationship, then you know how wonderful it can be to find someone you love so deeply.
Often times, especially through marriage, couples become a unit which can be a good thing! You might enjoy the same activities, hang out with the same people, and finish each other’s sentences.
Being in a loving relationship is an amazing thing. But sometimes, it’s easy to lose sight of yourself when every new decision you make suddenly affects another person. The good news is every couple can learn to maintain their individuality while still growing together.
Start with these tips!
Do What Makes You Happy
Relationships are all about compromise, but remember that your personal happiness is still important.
Make time for healthy hobbies that you enjoy.
Don’t be afraid to schedule a little “me” time to take care of yourself.
Make an effort to spend time apart when possible. This will help maintain other relationships in your life. it will also keep you from putting too much pressure on your partner to be your everything.
Set Healthy Boundaries Within Your Relationship
Every couple is made from two unique individuals sometimes with different opinions, thoughts, and beliefs. You have to have a good understanding of your personal self when you’re in a relationship in order to set boundaries accordingly.
You don’t have to change who you are to meet someone else’s standards. Saying “no” can help prioritize yourself and your feelings.
Ask For Guidance
No matter where you’re at in your relationship, couples therapy can help you identify what’s working and what’s not. Through couples counseling, we want to help you connect with your partner and for you to feel supported and validated. You can get that “loving feeling” back again and in a deeper way than ever before.
Couples Counseling can help couples build a firm foundation before their wedding day, help couples resolve a specific conflict or help save a marriage after infidelity. Right now, your problems seem overwhelming. But our therapists have seen other relationships in crisis. We’ve worked with other couples who are tired of arguing.
Whether you are trying to work through something small or on the brink of divorce, counseling can help. If you and your partner are ready to work on your relationship as individuals and as a couple, we’re here to support you!
How To Stop Blaming Yourself For Everything
April 11, 2019
Do you find yourself saying “I’m Sorry” multiple times a day?
Constantly apologizing for things you didn’t do or are out of your control?
Why are we so hard on ourselves?
The Voice Of Our Inner-Critic
Self-blame and criticism are behaviors that are learned over time. Maybe you had a particularly critical influence in your life that has taught you to over-apologize. Negative
That destructive voice inside can really hold you back from thriving in life. Negative thinking can affect everything from your relationships to performance at work or school. The good news is you can change your mindset to welcome positivity and cultivate happiness in life in a few simple steps.
Recognize Your Emotions
It’s OK to feel a variety of emotions each day. Sometimes these are negative. What’s more important is to pay attention to triggers when you sleep
Create A Plan For Positive Self Talk
If you want to stop over apologizing and blaming yourself for everything, then you need to change the way you think. Often times, people who take the blame are very compassionate. They care deeply about others and take the blame so others don’t have to experience negativity.
Start by practicing self-love and care. Speak kindly to yourself. As a general rule of thumb, if you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
Develop A ‘Glass Half Full’ Mindset
Try seeing life through a different lens! This is what we mean when we talk about going from surviving to thriving. In order to develop that thriving mindset, you’ll have to change your outlook and thinking.
View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept challenges and defeat as part of life. Look for ways to self-improve without beating yourself up or constantly taking the blame.
Above all, remember to be kind to yourself because you are doing the best you can!
Refresh Your Mindset: How To Go From A to B Instead of A to Z
April 4, 2019
We’ve all been there before…
You set a goal to motivate yourself and one thing leads to another. Work, the kids, deadlines, soccer games, grocery shopping- where does the time go?!
Soon, a few months pass and you aren’t any closer to your big goal leaving you feeling defeated, overwhelmed, and maybe even hopeless- sound familiar?
Burnout & Stress Lead To Overwhelm
Unrealistic personal goals usually do more harm than good in the long run. You essentially set yourself up for failure by having high standards or you become too consumed with perfectionism.
When your mindset is focused on always wanting more, you
However, having motivation and goals in life is important. The good news is you can create the perfect balance of motivation without getting overwhelmed if you change your mindset.
Baby Steps Over Leaps
If you have a big goal, you don’t have to toss it out the window. Dreams and aspirations are great motivators. The key is developing a mindset that welcomes change and personal growth.
Instead of going from A to Z, take as many baby steps as you need. Try going from A to B. Think about one small thing you can (realistically) do today that will move you one step closer to the bigger goal. This mindset will help you feel motivated and accomplished which is just the fuel you need to take another baby step the next day….or week.
Practice Self-Love
Above all, on your journey to personal improvement and growth, don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Sometimes, life really does get in the way. Enjoy the moment at hand for what it is and try to refocus.
After all, life isn’t about how many times we fall, but how many times we get back up!
How Every Relationship Could Benefit From Couple’s Therapy
March 28, 2019
Think about all of the ways your life is enriched through your relationships.
Whether romantically involved or bound by friendship, relationships help provide essential support and nourishment in life.
It’s no secret that relationships require work. They are mutually transformative and grow over time but not without setbacks or challenges.
Successful relationships are based on balance and mutual support making clear communication absolutely necessary.
Relationships are so complex and take finetuning along the path to growth and fulfillment. Here are a few ways Couple’s Therapy can help benefit any relationship.
You Can Learn About Your Partner’s Emotional Needs
Known in the therapy world as EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), this type of therapy specifically focuses on the individual emotional patterns of both people in the relationship. The goal of EFT is to create a secure and trustworthy bond that results in a healthier, happier bond.
Therapy can improve communication so both partners feel heard and understood. It can help couples navigate the complexity of decision-making and goal-setting ensuring each person is making a compromise.
Diving into your history as a couple as well as your individual histories is important. It helps you better understand what specific issues mean to each of you. This will help couples identify and share feelings.
You’ll Gain A Non-judgmental Third Party Perspective
When you are part of the relationship, it’s hard to remove yourself from it and view it without bias. Couple’s Therapy offers professional third party guidance, support, and advice that can help repair or refresh a relationship.
Often times, a therapist understands what you are trying to convey and offers a clear and understandable translation to your partner. Because relationships are built on trust and communication, it’s important to understand how to communicate effectively.
Couples Therapy can help overcome communication obstacles by developing a greater understanding of each other.
You Can Discuss A Variety of Topics
There are a variety of elements that cause strain on a relationship. Couple’s Therapy at Foundations Family Therapy is designed to help couples open up and discuss specific elements of their relationship. It provides a healthy way to analyze individual communication styles, personalities, ambitions, personal values and goals, finances, and conflict resolution.
There is no magic formula that can fix a broken relationship but at Foundations Family Therapy, we’re here to help you reconnect. We help couples connect in a supportive environment at our comfortable Fuquay-Varina and Raleigh offices.
Our couples therapy clients report feeling like their partners understand them better, respect them more, and support them after therapy.
Strengthen your relationship today!