Posts Tagged ‘CouplesCounseling’
4 Spots In Raleigh That Can Help Reduce Anxiety
August 8, 2019
You know the signs…
Rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, and racing thoughts… are all signs of anxiety.
When anxious feelings arise, it’s time to reconnect.
Anxiety is one of the most common mental health symptoms, and, for those who suffer, you are truly not alone in your feelings. Some of the most typical treatments for anxiety involve ways to be present in your environment by engaging with your surroundings. This includes using your five senses, deep breathing, and grounding techniques.
So, what does that really look like here in the City of Oaks? Use these local resources and businesses to calm your anxiety.
NC Museum of Art: Whether you are a lover of art or not, this museum truly has something for everyone. On a humid, Raleigh day, you can mosey around the portraits, statues, and expressive artwork at your leisure. Spend time focusing on the colors, textures, and design of each piece. Reflect on your emotional state when looking at the artwork. What is the artist portraying and how do you feel looking at it? If it’s a cooler Raleigh day, spend time strolling in the outdoor art park. Check out the massive Gyre rings and the spacious amphitheater. On your walk, stop and listen. What do you hear? Be mindful of nature all around you. This outdoor park is connected to the Capital Area Greenway System which has trails all over the Triangle so chances are, there is one near you.
JC Raulston Arboretum: This local arboretum has 10 beautiful acres to explore of botanical gardens. Take some deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth and chances are, you will smell something floral near you. As you walk, focus on the weight of your foot pressing down on the ground beneath you and feel connected, centered with the earth. What can you touch around you? A soft petal, a prickly pinecone, or the weight and feel of your camera in your hand capturing the scenery. It can feel refreshing to wander through the gardens but if you’d like more direction, check out the tours and workshops provided there to socialize with others or learn something new.
Cameron Village Regional Library: Although there are many wonderful local libraries around the Triangle, this one located in the Cameron Village Shopping Center, stands out. Explore the shelves of different genres, peruse the artwork, and say hello to the massive knight sculpture greeting you on the 2nd floor. As you meander through this open, two-story space, feel the sun’s rays shining through the large windows and see if you smell a new book calling your name. Pick up a book, feel the texture of the pages, and be reminded of the way it feels to get lost in a good story. This library as well as others in the area offer a wealth of knowledge in not only books but artistic programs for adults as well as storytimes for the youngsters.
Cinemark Raleigh Grande: Sometimes it can be beneficial to take a break from everyday life and immerse yourself in someone’s else’s story. What better way than the movies? Choose where you want to sit online before you come for optimal space and comfort. Stretch out in a cushy recliner with your feet up and enjoy the ultimate surround sound experience. Grab some yummy food to really engage your senses and take time to savor each bite, each flavor. Try to really slow it down and be present with your meal as well as with the show in front of you. Sometimes simply gaining a new perspective can shift your own.
Give one of these ideas a try the next time you’re struggling with anxious thoughts or feelings, and see if engaging your 5 senses at some great Raleigh attractions helps you to feel grounded and calm.
You may also find that anxiety therapy is helpful in reducing your anxious thoughts. We’re here to help, and we want you to move from surviving to thriving in all areas of your life.
How To Maintain Your Identity When “I” Becomes “We”
July 24, 2019
If you’re in a monogamous relationship, then you know how wonderful it can be to find someone you love so deeply.
Often times, especially through marriage, couples become a unit which can be a good thing! You might enjoy the same activities, hang out with the same people, and finish each other’s sentences.
Being in a loving relationship is an amazing thing. But sometimes, it’s easy to lose sight of yourself when every new decision you make suddenly affects another person. The good news is every couple can learn to maintain their individuality while still growing together.
Start with these tips!
Do What Makes You Happy
Relationships are all about compromise, but remember that your personal happiness is still important.
Make time for healthy hobbies that you enjoy.
Don’t be afraid to schedule a little “me” time to take care of yourself.
Make an effort to spend time apart when possible. This will help maintain other relationships in your life. it will also keep you from putting too much pressure on your partner to be your everything.
Set Healthy Boundaries Within Your Relationship
Every couple is made from two unique individuals sometimes with different opinions, thoughts, and beliefs. You have to have a good understanding of your personal self when you’re in a relationship in order to set boundaries accordingly.
You don’t have to change who you are to meet someone else’s standards. Saying “no” can help prioritize yourself and your feelings.
Ask For Guidance
No matter where you’re at in your relationship, couples therapy can help you identify what’s working and what’s not. Through couples counseling, we want to help you connect with your partner and for you to feel supported and validated. You can get that “loving feeling” back again and in a deeper way than ever before.
Couples Counseling can help couples build a firm foundation before their wedding day, help couples resolve a specific conflict or help save a marriage after infidelity. Right now, your problems seem overwhelming. But our therapists have seen other relationships in crisis. We’ve worked with other couples who are tired of arguing.
Whether you are trying to work through something small or on the brink of divorce, counseling can help. If you and your partner are ready to work on your relationship as individuals and as a couple, we’re here to support you!
4 Tips For Improving Communication In Your Marriage From A Raleigh, NC Therapist
July 17, 2019
Even though every relationship has its own strengths and weakness, there are many couples would rank “communication” as a major weakness in their marriage.
Some couples might engage in heated conversations that involve cursing, yelling, and degrading comments while others might give each other the silent treatment. In both instances, the couples are “communicating” but they are not communicating effectively or in the best interest of the relationship.
Conversation is an invitation into someone’s world and a chance to build intimacy in the relationship. So how can we communicate more effectively with our spouse?
Humility
This is the first and most critical aspect of a good relationship and good communication. Humility in communication looks like giving your spouse the “benefit of the doubt” that they are trying to hear you, care for you, and respond to you the best way they know-how.
If each person in the relationship humbles themselves to believe that maybe they could improve their communication and that their spouse is not looking for bad intentions in their communication, a lot of ground can be gained by changing our own attitudes.
Engage In Active Listening
In active listening, the person is listening for meaning and feeling and not just content. The listener is not just waiting to respond, but takes on the mindset of “my only job is to hear, understand, and determine how you are feeling and the meaning behind what you are telling me”.
In its most basic form, active listening involves eye contact, listening for inflection in the conversation, and reflecting some basic feelings or words the person is saying to show you are listening. Before responding, summarize what you hear your spouse telling you.
For example, after a hard day, you might summarize and reflect “wow, so your boss yelled at you and you felt frustrated and anxious”. This gives your spouse the opportunity to correct you if you did not get their feeling or meaning correct and shows that not only did you hear their story but you can empathize with them.
Remember: content is only one part. It will be much less effective if you respond by saying “so your boss yelled at you?” It might feel weird at first, but it will do wonders for your relationship.
Set aside uninterrupted time to talk
We all live busy, digital lives but setting aside time each day (or every couple of days if we’re honest), to sit with our spouse and just talk about something meaningful, hopes, dreams, feelings, insecurities, or disappointments is crucial.
In a world where we can text our spouse all day and not have any intimacy or depth in the communication, it is so vital to make eye contact without screens and engage with one another.
If you need help, start by asking a good open-ended question, like…
“What do you like best about our relationship right now?”
“Is there anything you wish was different about our marriage?”
“What is a way I can support you and show you love right now in a meaningful way?”
“Are you struggling with or dreading anything right now?”
The idea is to move beyond the surface-level conversation. Try to connect with your spouse’s thoughts and feelings.
Laugh Together
Find time to be with your spouse and do something you enjoy. This will help improve communication and your desire to be with one another. Make time for one another and laugh together! Sometimes, good memories and laughing together really is the best medicine.