How To Stop Blaming Yourself For Everything

EMDR Therapist | Anxiety Treatment | Foundations Family Therapy | Fuquay Varina & Raleigh, NC

Do you find yourself saying “I’m Sorry” multiple times a day?

Constantly apologizing for things you didn’t do or are out of your control?

Why are we so hard on ourselves?

The Voice Of Our Inner-Critic

Self-blame and criticism are behaviors that are learned over time. Maybe you had a particularly critical influence in your life that has taught you to over-apologize. Negative self talk can ruin your self-esteem and confidence.

That destructive voice inside can really hold you back from thriving in life. Negative thinking can affect everything from your relationships to performance at work or school. The good news is you can change your mindset to welcome positivity and cultivate happiness in life in a few simple steps.

Recognize Your Emotions

It’s OK to feel a variety of emotions each day. Sometimes these are negative. What’s more important is to pay attention to triggers when you sleep into a bad mood or become upset. The more in touch you are with your feelings, the better you’ll understand what ignites your inner critic so you can stop it from becoming destructive.

Create A Plan For Positive Self Talk

If you want to stop over apologizing and blaming yourself for everything, then you need to change the way you think. Often times, people who take the blame are very compassionate. They care deeply about others and take the blame so others don’t have to experience negativity.

Start by practicing self-love and care. Speak kindly to yourself. As a general rule of thumb, if you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.

Develop A ‘Glass Half Full’ Mindset

Try seeing life through a different lens! This is what we mean when we talk about going from surviving to thriving. In order to develop that thriving mindset, you’ll have to change your outlook and thinking.

View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept challenges and defeat as part of life. Look for ways to self-improve without beating yourself up or constantly taking the blame.

Above all, remember to be kind to yourself because you are doing the best you can!

New Year, New You!

Woman sitting in a park journaling | Family Counseling in Fuquay Varina, NC 27526 is available to Foundations Family Therapy in Raleigh, NC 27606. You can also get online therapy in North Carolina!

The best way to start your 2019 is in the right direction!

Mental Wellness might not be as popular as dieting or saving money, but it’s just as important to your overall health. With all of the noise surrounding New Year’s resolutions, we’re providing a few tips to help you thrive in 2019…

Focus on baby steps

Don’t get overwhelmed by unrealistic goals! Find a way to take a small step in the right direction instead of a big, unrealistic leap and you’ll be off to a great start.

Try something new

Whether it’s a Pinterest project, new hobby, or journaling, try something new in 2019. New hobbies and activities can spark creativity and encourage growth and connection. Refocusing your energy and efforts on something you enjoy can also give you a much needed boost of self-esteem.

Find the good in life

Even on the worst day, there’s always something to be thankful for. Start there. Laugh more and smile often. Tap into your spiritual side and try things like prayer and meditation for holistic healing.

Spend time with your furry friends

Many studies have shown the benefits of having a pet. Their unconditional love and passion can lower the stress hormone cortisol to boost happiness. Bonus if you can get outside for a walk to enjoy the outdoor companionship together!

Write it down

Stress, happiness, downfalls, and mistakes all happen. Some are easier to get over than others. Also, some people are more resilient than others! Try to journal your day for better or worse. Writing something down can be therapeutic. Make lists to help gain control.

Let our comprehensive wellness team at Foundations Family Therapy help you create a plan mental wellness plan for the entire family in 2019! Start Here

3 Ways To Feel More Confident With Change

As we approach the fall season, it always reminds me of change. Leaves are changing colors, kids are starting a new school year, and there’s a coolness in the air (maybe, if you’re in NC). Change is an inevitable part of life but it certainly doesn’t make it easier.

There are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ feelings to have in change. People feel scared, worried, sad, and even relieved or hopeful. Although feelings are fleeting, we absolutely can choose which ones to focus on. So, what’s the difference between someone who lets the fear of change take over versus someone who is confident with change?

Check out these 3 tips that make the difference in how you handle change..

Maintain your Routines

Often times when change happens, we focus so much on the change that we forget our normal routines. Simple things like going to the gym or having our morning coffee provides us with stability and comfort when other aspects of our life feel chaotic. These routines can also include healthy eating and sleeping habits.

Focus on what you CAN control

In change, it’s easy to worry and dwell on what we can’t control. For instance, maybe you are focusing on why you were laid off from work instead of what you can do next. Make a list of realistic actions steps. This will help to shift your focus and put you back in the driver’s seat.

Connect with Others

Most of us would agree that life is better shared. However, depending on our feelings about the change, it may cause us to isolate ourselves from our loved ones. It’s important to remember that because change is universal, chances are that someone you know has experienced what you are experiencing or at least can provide insight or support. Our loved ones know us the best.  When we’re caught up in change, they can point out our strengths.

Feeling more confident with change? If you want to learn more, I’d love to walk with you on your journey.

 Renee Pugh, LCSW